Like its DYNOMITE!

September 4, 2010

Yeah, sorry. I know, I know. I haven’t posted in forever. My inspiration is gone, but I’m gonna push through and get it back. I shall, I shall, I shall.

I’ve been pretty busy with band and Ian and school. In between all of those things when I do get free time all I want to do is lay around and be lazy. Being lazy is fun! Let me tell ya. lol

But seriously, nothing interesting has happened, I guess I’m a really boring person so I’ll try my best to drag out my posts and act like I’m the coolest person in the world. ;P

What I’m about to say is so not related to Ian, but…I’m really interested in weddings. I love looking at that kind of stuff, so I was thinking I might get a kick out of being a wedding planner. Maybe, maybe not. Who knows maybe I’ll pursue that when I’m financially stable and can afford to make mistakes. Until then, I’m washing old people.

Oh and by the way….HELLO FALL!



August 23, 2010

Scared for my life and kicking myself for letting it happen again. Torn between hope and total agony. Waiting for the drop of the axe on my neck; egarly, hope still biting at me. Back to those desperate days filled with saddnes and bad decisions. Oh god. The anticipation. Why is it taking so long? It’s really happening, isn’t it? Why? Why, why, why, why, why?!! This is too much pain. Hope. Despair. Hope again. Never could let that go, could I? Always had to cling on no matter how painful it was. My mind ponders a replacement. The sooner the better. Push the pain away, mask it with a destraction, a human sacrifice. I’m scared. I’m so scared. But do I dare ask again? Do I want this answer? Do I want to be put out of my misery? It was my fault wasn’t it? It always is. I’m horrible. Let me fix it please. That’s the hope again. But I know, you’ll break me in two then crumble those pieces until there is nothing left.

You Were All Yellow

August 14, 2010

No, I haven’t been on in forever, but I am now so who cares. :P

So guess what I did. Tada! The hair is gone! Sorry about the bad photo quality. Oh well.

I’ve started my senior year and boy! It’s hellish. It’s easy, yeah, but I really don’t want to be there. So I found a solution; Graduating early! I can still go to prom and graduation. So I went to one of the two guidance counselors we have to talk to her. My dad knows one from when he recruited at my school so I figured she’d be willing to help me. I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO HER AGAIN. She insulted my intelligence and talked to me like I was a 3rd grader. Congratulations, you suck. So now I won’t be do that.

I’ve also been recently thinking about more tattoos. I figure as soon as I turn 18 I’m going to get another one (or two.) They are addicting. I like em. :)

This post is mostly for my mom because we are still butting heads about cutting off my long hair.

The last time I cut off my hair my boyfriend at the time hated it, so obviously I hated it. I told my mom and my stylist to never let me cut it off again. Well that guy isn’t around anymore and he never will be. So I’ve liked my long hair and I look good but I’m ready to let it go.

I understand my mom; I’ve worked to grow it out, I wanted it long, If I don’t like it I’ll have to live with it for a long time. But I won’t have to deal with it forever. Hair grows back. I have a tattoo, but not a haircut?

I’ve worked hard over the summer to keep my hair healthy, but still it’s a ton of work. Straightening it, drying it, putting it up, worrying about moisture, split ends, shedding.

It will be less costly and more effortless to take care of. Plus I really really think it’ll look good. I am always looking for ways to drastically change my hair and I’ve fallen in love with the idea of it being short.

And if I hate it, if it looks horrible, if it sucks then every single day that its growing back out, Mom, you can say I told you so and never let me live it down.

Twirl ’till you fall

July 20, 2010

She was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad. -Raphael