Josh: Hey how are you?
Me: I have brownies…They are my friends.

Me: I am the God of Thunder!
Seth: You should make it snow!
Me: I am the God of Thunder, not the God of pussy white fluffy stuff that falls from the sky.

His activities include “long walks” and “exercising”, his music likes include techno, and his interests include sexual fantasies so I’m forced to assume he’s a doucher.-Ryan

You can’t have babies you haven’t got a womb! Where’s the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?!-Monty Python Life of Brian

Ryan: I’m dying for something sweet!
Me: Well here I am
!

The Secretary of State is usually a springboard to pregnancy. -Me

Haven’t you ever heard of imagination? It was invented in 1814 by Russian Scientist Herald Vondiffle, made famous in 2005 by Spongbob Squarepants! -Me to Ryan…

Me: Well since I’m sitting on your lap and since he is his friend he is gonna see and tell him and he is gonna get jealous.
Greg: That’s confusing.
Me: If they come back over here I’m going to start making out with you.

Your smell like the a whore. -Me

Yes, they have blue balls. -Mrs.Green

Either she is pregnant or she likes to waddle. -Me

It’s mostly because you smell like mutated tree stump. -Me

I’m gonna change my name to Amber Sanders. -Seth

Me: Rock…
Seth: He was going to look for a football.

I stuck a pencil in your butt today! lol -Aaron

Hey! Who put this prom queen here? -ME

Is she still a lesbian? -Me

Da name is Maria! -Me

She’s a wearwolf?! -Tyler

Gas prices have gone down. Which sucks for all the people who made that mistake of trading their first-born for a tank full of gas. -Me

Mom: Where is your jacket?
Me: Dead…I made sure it shall never harm humans again.

No one likes you! -Me

Polar bears don’t drink cola! Thats just stupid.

Arouse the world! -Me and Mitchell in Green’s

Never have kids…they’re heavy. -Mrs. Dunnaway

Dad: Gimme a kiss.
Mom: No you smell like a pickle.

Thats it! Dismount the banister! -Cop on National Treasure.

Binge Drinking is awesome!! -Frezned

She speaks Yeti?!
-Jonathon The Mummy 3

Our minds are not enslaved by God, they are mearly endenchered servants. You do God’s work for years and years and then are eventually freed by death. Then you go to heaven where to get to play Wii bowling with Ben Franklin.
-Steven Colbert.

Mom: Those drinks cost me 6 dollars.
Me: Yeah. Cuz they’re heaven in a can.
Mom: -rolls eyes-
Me: Heaven isn’t cheap mom. It costs a life time of servitude…and 6 dollars.

Me: Beta is dumb!
Brandon: I’m the president…
Me: Exactly!

Yesterday I had some onions that tasted like Christmas–Brandon Orr

Mr. Mullins: Amber count that measure backwards.
Me: 4 ah and 3 and 2 1 (ROLF)

Fine Amber just cry your self a cup of tea! -Karen

6 Responses to “Can I Quote You On That?”

  1. Amazing. You and your friends have (I’m sure) very interesting brains. I might have to use the brownies line…

    • Haha. Thanks. It never gets boring with me and my friends.

      • Me (walks into the room): Hi, I’m back!
        Rosie (my endlessly annoying sister): Who are you?
        Me: uh…
        Rosie: oh my god, you look like my sister wearing a wig!

        Another good one( it’s a trademark rapier style one-liner) is:
        Me: Stop singing or i may have to decapitate you using… this brownie!

  2. A Mall Cop said

    What sort of drinks did you have that cost 6 dollars?

  3. rachel said

    Amber,

    This post is really clever and funny. Is it made of things that you and your friends and family actually said? Also, I like the way you use photography on your site. I’m guessing that you took all the photos? I’m quite a bit older than you (my kids are 19 and 24), so I squirm a little when you share some of your very very personal thoughts. It’s probably a Mom thing. On the other hand, I’m glad you’ve got a place to express yourself. Hope you continue to have a good time blogging!

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