August 23, 2010

Scared for my life and kicking myself for letting it happen again. Torn between hope and total agony. Waiting for the drop of the axe on my neck; egarly, hope still biting at me. Back to those desperate days filled with saddnes and bad decisions. Oh god. The anticipation. Why is it taking so long? It’s really happening, isn’t it? Why? Why, why, why, why, why?!! This is too much pain. Hope. Despair. Hope again. Never could let that go, could I? Always had to cling on no matter how painful it was. My mind ponders a replacement. The sooner the better. Push the pain away, mask it with a destraction, a human sacrifice. I’m scared. I’m so scared. But do I dare ask again? Do I want this answer? Do I want to be put out of my misery? It was my fault wasn’t it? It always is. I’m horrible. Let me fix it please. That’s the hope again. But I know, you’ll break me in two then crumble those pieces until there is nothing left.


You Were All Yellow

August 14, 2010

No, I haven’t been on in forever, but I am now so who cares. :P

So guess what I did. Tada! The hair is gone! Sorry about the bad photo quality. Oh well.

I’ve started my senior year and boy! It’s hellish. It’s easy, yeah, but I really don’t want to be there. So I found a solution; Graduating early! I can still go to prom and graduation. So I went to one of the two guidance counselors we have to talk to her. My dad knows one from when he recruited at my school so I figured she’d be willing to help me. I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO HER AGAIN. She insulted my intelligence and talked to me like I was a 3rd grader. Congratulations, you suck. So now I won’t be do that.

I’ve also been recently thinking about more tattoos. I figure as soon as I turn 18 I’m going to get another one (or two.) They are addicting. I like em. :)