Life; A 17 year olds POV of the near future.

May 9, 2010


What life for me is now and what it is to become.

Right now I’m about to end my high school year as a junior, once again the senior class I have come to know will be graduating and people who I will never talk to again are leaving. Taking with them regrets and memories. Two of them I’m really scared to lose. One more so than the other, boys of course. The two go hand in hand. I met them both at the same time and I dated them without being exclusive at the same time. The one I wanted the most, didn’t want me. And the one that wanted me, I blew off. That was such a giant mistake. Since then we have fought many times about being together , he stopped offering chances, and all I wanted was one more. I love that boy. He treated me like a jerk, and now the girl he is with like to spread crap about me. I would take him back in a heartbeat. I could be with that boy for the rest of my life.

So I’ll be a senior next year. The last year with all my friends. There is one really good friend who may be interested in getting a dorm or apartment with me at the local university, which will mean I stay in contact with her. Last year to be in the high school marching band. Last year for all the high schoolers I’ve met younger than me. It’s more of the unknown heading my way. I’ve never been good with change. I’m pretty scared.

Then it’s off to college. Hopefully I’ll find the right guy for me out of the college lot with minimal collateral damage. At this point I’d really like to just buy some hot Italian guy off the internet. Dark curly hair, sun-kissed muscular body, shining brown eyes *sigh.* But of course I’ll have to deal with the immature college pigs and try to shift out a good one.

I’m going for RN. And the decision to either work at the hospital during college or not is gonna be tough. I’ll get experience and money but there goes the last remaining bits of my childhood. Goodbye bits. I’ll miss you.

I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want to move out and leave my parents. I don’t want responsibility. I don’t want my childhood gone before it’s even started. But I guess everyone has said that before.

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