Wish you were here

May 2, 2010

Dear Boy,

IF you really are out there, searching for me as fervently as I am for you, please come soon. I don’t know what you have gone through, how many times you’ve been in love, or how you’ve been in the past. I promise I’ll love you with all I have, I know you’ll be the one to heal me completely. I may be crazy, but if you are the one for me you’ll love it. I’ll definitely be annoying, but you will be too.

I’ve waited through some tough times, many failed attempts, one love, and many mistakes. You’ll come to find me broken, sometimes I believe it to be beyond repair. Just scoop me up into your arms and let me know I’m going to be fine. Take care of me so I can finally know how it feels. Tell me you love me every chance you get, just so I won’t forget.

I’m quick to trust, feel, and give myself over. I’ll do whatever I can to please you, and if you are destined to be mine you’ll know that I really just want to slow down.

We don’t have to do anything when we are together except lay and talk forever. I’ll be happiest just being with you, being held in your arms, listening to you breathe.

I’m so scared you won’t find me. I look for you everywhere. I hate being alone. So I tend to jump into relationships with guys who were never good for me. I get played, lied to, ditched, cheated on. I have been treated pretty badly, and too many nights have been spent crying. Let me now that there will never be another reason to cry.

I’ve been with one impostor before. Claiming to be you. We both thought he was right. We were together for so long, then he changed completely in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do about it. This is what really broke me straight in two. I was left with myself. A person who I hadn’t known in so long. Alone and scared.

I need you so much. My faith is as shaky as my heart. I miss you. I wish you were here.


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